Regret Fixes Nothing
by LiquidVamp
Summary: [Lily x Severus] COMPLETE! Part 2 of the Severus Snape Saga. Several years have past when the gates open and darkness ensues. In the blink of an eye Severus receives and loses the one thing he's always wanted in life.


**Regret Fixes Nothing**

**Part 2 of the Severus Snape Saga**

_**A/N: **My muse is simple girl. All she likes are plot bunnies and reviews. So be kind to Maggie and feed her review cookies please.** Big thanks to my beta Lbandoly for her hard work.**_

_No copyright infringement intended. All characters are the property of JKR, Scholastic, and any number of other companies with more money than I've ever dreamed of seeing. I didn't make any money off of this, so please don't sue._

**LSSLSSLSSLSSLSSLSS**

The night was dark. A starless sky hung thick and ominous with heavy storm clouds looming, waiting for the perfect moment to release their torrent like the waves of darkness that consumed her very soul.

She had to know. She wrapped her cloak around her, tucking her vibrant red hair back so it would not be seen. She pulled her hood down low over her eyes. It wouldn't do anyone any good for her to be caught there; mudbloods didn't visit such seedy territory if they knew what was good for them. A fact she well knew, but she had to know for certain…

She picked a spot in a hidden alcove that they had visited more than once before and waited to see if he would respond to her missive to meet her here just once more. At half past the hour, just when she had decided he was not coming, a tall darkly cloaked figure entered the hiding spot. He dropped his hood and stood, black hair framing his face.

"You summoned me."

She pulled her hood back revealing the green eyes he had once claimed to love so much and red hair that flowed like shimmering flames. "I had to know."

"Know what? Know if your betrayal had cut me to the core, to know if your indiscretion had wrought me utterly devoid of hope. Well have your look then. See what you have made me."

"Sev…"

"Lily do stop. Your remorse is misplaced. I need none of your pity. I never needed it when I was younger and I certainly do not need it now that you have fornicated with Potter and have gotten yourself impregnated with his progeny."

"You never let me explain."

"There is nothing to explain Madame. It was not so long ago it was my bed you were warming. I'm quite sure I understand how one comes to be in the family way. Your pitiful excuses are not necessary."

"Severus please, you don't understand."

Anger vibrated twisting his aura to a nasty red. "What is to understand? You let that prick fuck you. It wasn't bad enough you let him sully you but now you carry his child. How did you expect me to handle that? Everything is not all sunshine and puppies _Lils_. You made your bed and obviously slept in it. I'm merely glad I found out before I did something entirely stupid like asking you to be my wife."

"Severus please, just let me explain."

"I do not want or need the explanations of a common mudblood whore."

She had taken enough of his ranting, if he wouldn't let her explain then fine sod him. He never had to know the child beneath her breast was his. "Fine, if you won't listen, then you need not know. But I must know, is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"The Order says…"

He knew what she was implying. He yanked the cuff of his robe and shirt sleeve away, ripping the buttons off as if they were never there to reveal the marred flesh of his left forearm. "Is this what you want to know? Do you like seeing this _Lils_? See what you have made me? You should be proud Lily, all those years of my monster of a muggle father and yet I have never hated him as much as I hate you. I'll see my revenge on you for the pain you brought me. I would have loved to see the same on him, but alas death took him before I could grant it."

"What have you done?" The shock of seeing the morsmordre burned into his skin made her go white. Pain flashed through her swollen abdomen as she faced the lengths he had gone to in search of a relief from obvious pain and betrayal. Pain and betrayal she had brought on him. If only…

"Oh God Severus how could you?"

"How could I? Oh that's bloody rich coming for you. The Scarlett Woman dares ask how someone could so something unconscionable. I did what I must. You know full well a war is coming and when it does I fully intend to be on the side that wins. You'll see a time will come when darkness reigns. On second thought you likely won't see. After all the Dark Lord does wish all mudbloods dead, no amount of brains and good looks will save you when his wand is turned on you."

Her knees went weak; she dropped to the filthy ground below wracked with sobs. "This is my fault entirely."

His laugh was cruel and cutting. "For once Lils you couldn't be more correct. This," he indicated to the mutilated flesh of his arm, "is entirely your fault. My original plan would have led down a path far different for both of us. But alas you destroyed all of that with one night in another man's bed. I do hope you're happy together for however short a time that may be."

He could stand her presence no longer; he raised his hood and turned to leave. He barely heard the painful whisper among her sobs. "The child isn't James'. He's yours. If you had just let me explain…."

He stopped and stood stock still at the opening back into Knockturn Alley with his back still turned to her. There was no possible way he had just heard her say that. Five months he had watched her grow rounded with pregnancy from afar cursing the very ground that James Potter walked thinking the child she protected insider her body was the child of his enemy. There was no way that she would have kept the truth of the child's parentage from him this long no matter what his last words to her had been. He dared not turn back around to face her just yet. "Repeat what you said."

She looked up to see the man she still dearly loved still standing with his back to her shaking from anger and quiet possibly fear and shame. "The child, my son, he is your blood."

"You lie."

"I would not lie to you ever. Had I wanted to lie to you I would never have told you about sleeping with James in the first place. You know as well as I that I have never lied to you Severus. The child is yours."

He turned around still shaking and looked at her. Her eyes never lied. One look and he would know. "My child?"

She looked up at him, tears marring her face. "Yes."

Nothing but truth shone from her eyes, this child truly was his. "How do you know?"

"Severus you and I both know I'm not incapable of using a cauldron. I took a potion. The results were very clear. The child is a Snape without question."

"That potion could have killed you if it had been made even the slightest bit incorrectly."

"You think I don't know that? You're not the only one with a brain Severus. I knew full well the possible results of failure. I took that risk because I had to know if what my heart knew was true."

"You risked my child…"

"I had to know…I thought you might like to know. But I was wrong because you never let me explain."

"Did you expect I would?"

"Yes."

"Then I guess we both have bred irrational expectations of the other."

"I guess so."

"You married Potter."

"What would you have had me do? You tossed me aside without so much as allowing me a word in edgewise. You took the word of a jealous woman as gold and never let me say anything to contradict it."

"I was hurt."

"You could have asked. I would have told you what truly happened between him and me."

"Then I ask now. Did you sleep with Potter?"

"No. I admit I very nearly did. I was down to my knickers when I shoved him away and left crying. I couldn't do it. No matter how angry you had made me, I couldn't willingly hurt you that way. I loved you then and I love you now, but it's too late. What's done is done. It can't be undone."

"I…"

"What you want matters not. You didn't want to listen when it mattered Severus and now I'm married and you have pledged an allegiance to a man that wishes me dead simply because of my blood. No matter what either of us wants the wheels have been set in motion. There can be no fixing that mistake now."

"Does Potter know the child isn't his?"

"No and I wish it to remain that way."

"The child will look nothing like him and you well know it Lily. You can't hide who his father is when he is born."

She rose to her feet, slightly shaky from the conversations emotional toll on her fragile state. "I can but I'll need your help. If you will not give it I'll seek out another potions master that can provide me with what I need."

"No," he roared. "I will not allow you to dose my unborn child to look like another man."

She looked at him with sad eyes. "You have to. If not then the world will know you have a child. A child who's mother is a mudblood. Your master will see all of us dead for that. As long as the child appears to be James' he will be afforded at least some sense of safety even if we both know there is no such thing."

"I…"

She cut him off not daring to hear him back peddle. "Just say you'll brew it. I'll stay out of your life. Your child will grow up safe and loved no matter what I'll see to it that he doesn't have the childhood you did. James might be a right arse but he will love this child."

"You would curse me to never see my heir."

"You did that when you let the dark arts pull you in…when you took that hideous mark."

"Lily I'm…"

"Don't apologize Severus, too much has passed between us that can not be fixed. Words of regret won't help either of us. Just say you'll brew the potion and that after that you'll stay away from our child. I won't have him risked because of your curiosities."

"I can't."

"Then you condemn us all to death if I can't find another master capable of brewing the potion." She pulled her hood up and moved to step past him.

He grabbed her arm to stop her. "I'll brew the potion, but I can't swear I won't try to see my son."

"He can't ever know James isn't his father."

"I can keep that knowledge to myself. I don't wish my child, or you, dead."

"Send an owl when it's ready." She passed him a parchment envelope. "The ingredient you'll need is in here. I've already made plans to be away visiting family in America when the time comes to take it."

"You need to be near a medi-witch when you take the potion. You can not be off traveling."

"I know that. The story is to cover my absence. There is a medi-witch I know of that will keep the information to herself. I'll take it at her home and remain there till the effects have passed."

"You'll do no such thing. I'll administer the potion. If something goes wrong I need to be there. A common medi-witch may not be prepared for every occurrence. You are more than welcome to invite her to join us if you so desire a third party present during your stay at Spinner's End."

She nodded. "I'll let her know first thing tomorrow that you have agreed."

"Does she know I'm the father?"

"No. She only knows that you are the only potions master I trust to brew the potion properly."

"Then you do not trust her?"

"No. I do, but it's easier to keep this a secret if no one knows except us."

He nodded his agreement. "It should be ready in two weeks. Will that give you significant time to foster this fake trip to the colony?"

"Yes."

"I'll send a missive when it's done then." He left her arm drop form his hand. "Lily…"

She placed a finger over his lips to still them. "I already told you not to apologize Severus. What's done is done. Thank you for doing this for us." She was gone before he could reply.

He decided to walk for a while instead of going straight home. He had pushed the love of his life away with a child within her that was rightly his and now that the truth was out there was nothing he could do but regret his mistakes and offer a potion that might well kill his son and Lily. But it was all he had to offer. They would be dead for certain if steps weren't taken to hide the child's parentage from his fellow Deatheaters.

He cursed himself the entire walk for not having trusted her enough to know that she would never have betrayed him. Now he had truly lost his chance at a happy family to call his own.


End file.
